to be read slowly, please
dear khalbie,
if you are reading this while “Dewi” is playing, i hope you let yourself stay here for a little while. imagine that, for these few minutes, the world has become quieter and there is nothing you need to do except let me tell you how precious you are to me.
sayang, i honestly don't know how to explain what you have become in my life without feeling that every word i choose is still too small. you came into my days and somehow made the ordinary things feel softer. a notification can turn into the nicest part of my afternoon; a little story from you can stay in my mind long after our conversation ends. even when we are doing completely different things, there is a part of me that feels lucky simply because i get to know you.
i love getting to know the little things about you: the stories you tell without thinking twice, the way your mood changes, the things that make you laugh, and even the moments when you don't quite know what to say. i don't want to love only the easy, shining parts of you. i want to keep learning you as a whole person, with your bright days and your tired ones, your certainty and your doubts. you never have to be perfect to be someone worth loving. you can just be khalbie, and that is already someone so dear to me.
sometimes i wish i could borrow a little piece of the sky and write your name across it, just so you could see how naturally my thoughts find their way back to you. but even the sky feels too small for what i want to say. if i could give you anything, it would be the certainty that you are appreciated—not only when you make me happy, not only when you have something lovely to tell me, but simply because you are here, living your life and being yourself. i hope i can be someone who makes your days gentler, someone you can talk to without having to arrange every thought into the perfect sentence.
and if there are days when life feels heavy, i hope you remember that you don't have to carry every feeling alone. you can tell me the messy version, the unfinished version, the version that comes out in a jumble. i'll listen. i may not always have the perfect answer, but i can offer you my patience, my honesty, and a heart that genuinely wants to understand you. i want our love, whatever shape it grows into, to feel like a place where both of us can breathe.
that is why “Dewi” makes me think of you. not because a song can explain everything i feel, but because music sometimes finds the door to a feeling that ordinary words can't quite reach. whenever it plays, i imagine being able to look at you and say all of this without getting shy halfway through. i imagine a collection of little memories: silly conversations, quiet moments, the laughter we didn't plan, and the comfort of knowing that somewhere in this enormous world, we found each other.
i can't promise that every day will be perfect, and i don't want to make promises that sound beautiful but mean nothing. what i can promise is that i'll try to be sincere with you. i'll keep choosing kindness, keep learning how to understand you better, and keep appreciating the chance to share even the smallest parts of life with you. i want to celebrate your happiness without making it about me, respect your feelings even when they're different from mine, and remind you that your dreams deserve room to grow.
khalbie, if you ever wonder why you mean so much to me, the answer is not one grand thing. it's a thousand little things gathered together: the way your presence makes a day feel different, how i find myself wanting to tell you things, how your happiness matters to me, and how even a simple song can turn into a letter because it reminds me of you. somehow, you have become one of the names my heart says gently.
so, my dearest khalbie, thank you for existing in the same lifetime as me. thank you for every conversation, every laugh, every little moment that you may have forgotten but that i quietly keep. i hope this letter reaches you like warm sunlight through a window—not asking anything of you, only reminding you that someone is grateful for you in a way that is honest and wholehearted.
if i could end this letter by giving you one thing, it would be a little glimpse of how i see you: someone worth knowing slowly, worth listening to carefully, worth cheering for on the days you feel unstoppable and on the days you need a little encouragement. and if you let me, i'd love to keep making memories with you, one ordinary, beautiful day at a time.
with all the tenderness i have, and with a heart that keeps choosing you,
your scath ♡